What is the formula of lasting joy? Experts uncover the true source of emotional wholeness.
1. Hang out with joyful people
Psychologist John Gottman says that in order to consider a relationship a positive one, we need five positive interactions for every negative one. The point: Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you, and give a wide berth to those who criticise and deplete you.
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| Being around happy and cheerful people will automatically give you the same feeling as them. With my classmates from Journalism School in September 2011, Camps Bay Beach Cape Town. Photo: Katlego Legodi |
2. Move consistently towards your goals
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| Achieving your goals is the best feeling in human life. Not only do you prove the outside world wrong but you have fulfilled your own request to self. First official meeting with the Deputy Minister of Rural Development and Land Reform with Communication interns April 2013, Pretoria. Photo: Dorethea Samaai |
Make commitments and then make a point of keeping your word. “The greatest dreams will not be accomplished without discipline and daily effort – and that process brings joy,” says the Reverend A.R. Bernard, pastor of New York’s Christian Cultural Center. “It’s about doing the ordinary things extraordinarily well.”
3. Meditate on your blessings
End each day by recalling three moments that made you feel truly grateful: anything from a gorgeous sunrise to the smile of a loved one. Practise sitting in quiet contemplation or. Then keep track of your blessings in a gratitude journal.
4. Be good to yourself
Eat nourishing food and get six to eight hours of sleep every night. And exercise regularly – the endorphin boost adds to your feeling of well being and may help prevent diabetes, heart disease and other illnesses. Harvard lecturer Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, adds: “Research shows that exercising at least three times a week for 30 minutes each session has the same effect as some of our most powerful anti-depressant medication.” And give yourself permission to be human. “When we accept emotions such as fear, sadness and anxiety as natural, we are more able to overcome them,” says Ben-Shahar.
5. Connect with others
Be intentional about building strong bonds with other people. “Your social relationships are a powerful predictor of happiness, much more so than money,” writes Daniel Gilbert in his book Stumbling on Happiness. Indeed, a 2002 University of Illinois study showed that participants who reported the highest level of happiness also reported the strongest ties to friends and family.
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6. Go to church – any church
A 2006 Pew Research report revealed that those who attend weekly services – of any faith – indicate that they feel much happier than those who attend once a month or less.
7. Give and forgive
Holding on to resentment and anger is an emotional weight that robs you of your joy. Just let it go. “Happiness is spiritual peace with God, with yourself and with others,” explains Bernard. And while you’re handing out pardons, give away a few other things, too: Generosity makes us feel as though we¹re making a difference by creating an environment of connection and love.
By Michelle Burford.
Date of Publication: April 2009 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
This article is taken from The Oprah Magazine. No copyright ownership
