Friday, April 12, 2013

The Best advice on Happiness

While going through a homepage on the pc I was given when I started here 9 days back. I came across one of the most internationally read magazine's website. Tryed a few pages but the one that most caught my eye was about HAPPINESS.

Written by Kimberly Dawn Neumann an article in the Body and Soul section captured Me. I found myself looking really deep into what happiness is. It is really not that hard. All that we have to do is take a oment and reflect back on our blessings. Like come on not everyone globally has access to the internet. Thats a blessing. You are probally in the latest fashion clothing and in an office of a comfortable lab. Those are blessings enough.

Not to bore you with my cranky examples.... Here is a few of the advice on HAPPINESS.


The Simple Secret To Happiness

Photo from WWW
 
Studies have shown that no matter how much people already possess, they still focus primarily on what they want next, explains Gilbert. It's a trap researchers call the hedonic treadmill. You know: You finally get your dream couch, then immediately decide you 'need' a new lamp. Or that promotion comes through, but now you're gunning for a snazzier title.

To stop and take stock:
• Flip your brain: Instead of comparing yourself to people based on what you don't have (a friend's awesome job, J.Lo's body), turn around and look at what you do have that someone else might want, says Gilbert. You'll realise just how envy-worthy your life is.
• Start this bedtime ritual: Every night while brushing your teeth, think of three reasons your life is great right now, no matter how simple ('Cute guy smiled at me'). Okay, okay, it sounds dorky, but it will work - research has shown that consciously noting happy moments makes you feel more contented overall, says Schwartz
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Don't think: Name the happiest you've been in the last year. You probably didn't say 'Looking at my great shoes,' even if they're your most prized possession. 'Research has found that once people's basic needs are met, having more stuff doesn't increase happiness,' says psychologist Dr Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness (Vintage). Cut down on clutter and you'll have more room to enjoy yourself.


Try this:
• Buy memories instead of things: When deciding whether to spend your cash on an item or an experience - say, a new designer dress versus a weekend trip with friends - go with the experience, says Gilbert. Most people think the outfit is the better choice because a getaway ends. But the trip will always stay perfect in your mind, while the item (suit, shoes, whatever) will eventually lose its lustre and be taken for granted.


• Live fast: Spend less time getting ready for your life and more time living it by using 'item rotation,' says psychologist Dr Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less (Harper Perennial). If you have 10 work skirts, hide five of them so you have fewer choices to stress about each day. Once a month, swap them, and get rid of any you didn't miss while they were hidden.


 

• Do a digital detox: Being hooked to your BB, iPad and computer means constant pressure to stay in contact… without any face-to-face time. So, go on an occasional tech fast. Don't message people, turn off your cell when you're with someone, and only reply to urgent e-mails. 'You'll connect more with the people around you and feel more a part of your life,' says life coach, Dr Timothy J Moore.

Now that like Me you felt an edge to practice the methods to reach the highest level of HAPPINESS  do take that time tonight when brushing your teeth to reflect.

To read the rest friends you will have to visit their site

http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za/bodysoul/MindHealth/the-simple-secret-to-happiness-pg1

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Spring Love protection!

            
It’s not just the sun that can burn you this season. This is an article on how to safeguard your heart when it comes to hooking up and breaking up in spring.
Mary-Jane Mabula



I

t’s not just the weather that gets hot in spring. Boy-girl stuff does too. There is no doubt that the new season (spring) has a big influence on our romantic lives especially us students. There are so many more opportunities for hooking up and partly it’s because we feel better when it’s warmer. Not that it’s all dating, flirting, one- night stands and romance – were more likely to break up in spring too.

Either way, we need to shield ourselves from more than UV rays. Here are a few dating SPF’s to consider so you don’t get burnt while you trying out a spring relationship.

FUN IN THE SUN

Women tend to shed those extra winter kilos and be more active in summer, so they are generally more confident and feel sexier. Everybody just seems to be in greater spirits during this time, wearing those attention grabbing miniskirts and there’s more to do out and about, so your chances of meeting someone are much higher.

DON’T KID YOURSELF

Seasonal romances are often just that uncomplicated fun. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless you start believing it’s something more serious than it is.

 It’s very easy to get swept away by the excitement of a seasonal romance and mistake it for love. Because the two of you are getting on well and enjoying each other’s company so much, you must be right for each other in the longer term.

You need to realise that the “holiday you” and “holiday him” may be very different from who you are in your normal day to day lives. Just like the different you when you go back home these upcoming school holidays.

What seems cool and free spirited at campus may just seem immature in the real world. Another danger is feeling fabulous but not understanding the real reasons. We might fool ourselves into thinking it’s because of the new man in our life that we are suddenly carefree and relaxed.

Bear in mind the excitement might be influencing your behaviour as well as his; you have a better chance of avoiding a broken heart. Try to keep in mind that a fling should just be.

LOVE LIMITED

Sometimes a fling does turn out to be the real thing! It’s not that you should abandon any hope of finding long term love just because its spring. You just need to be sure and not make decisions based on the way he treated you at the party last night. If then it feels right and you ready to take a risk, you need to be honest with him about that.

If you know you’re looking for something serious, he has a right to know too. Once you’ve voiced your expectations he can decide whether he wants to stick around or not. Always be aware, though, that even if he will be in it for the long run. Brenda Shoshanna, US psychologist and author of relationship books such as Why Men Leave (Perigee), suggests you take it slow. “Put dreams for the future on the back burner and discover who you’ve actually met and what they are looking for,” she says.

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

When it comes to sex, you need to be more realistic. Apart from protecting yourself from HIV and STI’s you also need to guard against getting your feelings hurt or your self-confidence shaken. Don’t fool yourself into thinking emotions aren’t relevant when it’s just a fling. As Shoshanna says, “All relationships have consequences.” Will you really be okay with it if he shows no further interest in you after a night of hot sex? You could end up feeling rejected.

Be honest with yourself. If you know it’s really casual sex with no further comitteements. Face that fact. Just like an ordinary 20 year old student I too know it’s hard for us women to have sex with no emotional attachment. If you don’t think you can handle it, don’t do it.

THE BRIGHT SIDE

In conclusion it’s much better to be dumped in summer than in winter. With winter break-ups you tend to stay inside and pile on weight. I’m saying this from experience because a week ago I got dumped after a four month “winter relationship”. In summer there’s more to do, you can be outdoors, you can really get out there and do something for yourself and meet new people like I have (gone on 4 dates already) and have fun with friends. Plus in spring we are much more active than in winter. There is always something to do.

Of course a break up is never pleasant, no matter what time of the year it is but I’m just saying it’s easier in now. If he left you because its warmer and he want to be with a slimmer woman, we’ll let him be. You are better off. Embrace being you and find a hobby that will cheer you up.

Mamazala’s Get a helping hand

Mary-Jane Mabula                                                                                                                   

                                             Members of Pasma working on Block M residence.


The Pan African Student Movement of Azania (PASMA) gave a helping hand to the residence cleaners known as Mamazala’s of the Tshwane University of Technology Soshanguve North Campus. This took place on September 23. “We just got here and they told us to relax, we were all surprised by them. It was our first time seeing such.” said Mamazala Dipuo Mphahlele. PASMA as part of their women empowerment campaign have run with this initiative as a follow up to continue helping women at the university.

“As a structure we saw a need to help our parents and that they should take a break. This is not us trying to win votes but trying to empower women as part of our social upliftment. ” Said Khoisan Sonti PASMA member. They started cleaning from the corridors to the kitchens of the North Campus residences. “We acknowledge what PASMA is doing for our Mamazala’s and we thank them. This shows that they do care, not only for us as students but all people here on campus.” Said Sibongile Mahlaola, student resident. PASMA promised that the cleaning will continue to the south campus of the university in the following week.

HERITAGE DAY

Mary-Jane Mabula                       

It was the beautiful voices that caught my attention while digging in a bowl of All bran flakes in the morning of September 23. As I listened attentively I noticed that people were ululating and cheering. Though to myself, “If I was at home I would say there’s a wedding next door, problem is I’m at home.” Like a journalist would do, I got my equipment ready and went to hunt for a story.

Students and lecturers went back to their roots and wore their cultural wear. The represented all african wear with a bit of a modern touch.






The Tshwane University of Technology (TUT) Education Department hosted a Heritage Day celebration were they embraced the cultural diversity of the faculty and the rest of the institution. From the lecturers to the students they all wore their cultural garments. “I feel proud to be in my cultural clothing because I feel natural and unmodified.” said Bongani Mahlangu, student. There were Swazi’s, Basotho, Zulu’s ,Bapedi and the list goes on.

The students showed great interest and support into the activities that took place during the vibrant celebration of one’s heritage. The programme kept them on their toes with dance performance by various group including the lecturers, a play that highlighted the concept of a ‘Calling’, storytelling and poetry. The day ended with a singing parade around the TCE residence.