It’s not just the sun that can burn you this season. This is an article on how to safeguard your heart when it comes to hooking up and breaking up in spring.
Mary-Jane Mabula
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t’s not just the weather that gets hot in spring. Boy-girl stuff does too. There is no doubt that the new season (spring) has a big influence on our romantic lives especially us students. There are so many more opportunities for hooking up and partly it’s because we feel better when it’s warmer. Not that it’s all dating, flirting, one- night stands and romance – were more likely to break up in spring too.
Either way, we need to shield ourselves from more than UV rays. Here are a few dating SPF’s to consider so you don’t get burnt while you trying out a spring relationship.
FUN IN THE SUN
Women tend to shed those extra winter kilos and be more active in summer, so they are generally more confident and feel sexier. Everybody just seems to be in greater spirits during this time, wearing those attention grabbing miniskirts and there’s more to do out and about, so your chances of meeting someone are much higher.
DON’T KID YOURSELF
Seasonal romances are often just that uncomplicated fun. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless you start believing it’s something more serious than it is.
It’s very easy to get swept away by the excitement of a seasonal romance and mistake it for love. Because the two of you are getting on well and enjoying each other’s company so much, you must be right for each other in the longer term.
You need to realise that the “holiday you” and “holiday him” may be very different from who you are in your normal day to day lives. Just like the different you when you go back home these upcoming school holidays.
What seems cool and free spirited at campus may just seem immature in the real world. Another danger is feeling fabulous but not understanding the real reasons. We might fool ourselves into thinking it’s because of the new man in our life that we are suddenly carefree and relaxed.
Bear in mind the excitement might be influencing your behaviour as well as his; you have a better chance of avoiding a broken heart. Try to keep in mind that a fling should just be.
LOVE LIMITED
Sometimes a fling does turn out to be the real thing! It’s not that you should abandon any hope of finding long term love just because its spring. You just need to be sure and not make decisions based on the way he treated you at the party last night. If then it feels right and you ready to take a risk, you need to be honest with him about that.
If you know you’re looking for something serious, he has a right to know too. Once you’ve voiced your expectations he can decide whether he wants to stick around or not. Always be aware, though, that even if he will be in it for the long run. Brenda Shoshanna, US psychologist and author of relationship books such as Why Men Leave (Perigee), suggests you take it slow. “Put dreams for the future on the back burner and discover who you’ve actually met and what they are looking for,” she says.
NO STRINGS ATTACHED
When it comes to sex, you need to be more realistic. Apart from protecting yourself from HIV and STI’s you also need to guard against getting your feelings hurt or your self-confidence shaken. Don’t fool yourself into thinking emotions aren’t relevant when it’s just a fling. As Shoshanna says, “All relationships have consequences.” Will you really be okay with it if he shows no further interest in you after a night of hot sex? You could end up feeling rejected.
Be honest with yourself. If you know it’s really casual sex with no further comitteements. Face that fact. Just like an ordinary 20 year old student I too know it’s hard for us women to have sex with no emotional attachment. If you don’t think you can handle it, don’t do it.
THE BRIGHT SIDE
In conclusion it’s much better to be dumped in summer than in winter. With winter break-ups you tend to stay inside and pile on weight. I’m saying this from experience because a week ago I got dumped after a four month “winter relationship”. In summer there’s more to do, you can be outdoors, you can really get out there and do something for yourself and meet new people like I have (gone on 4 dates already) and have fun with friends. Plus in spring we are much more active than in winter. There is always something to do.
Of course a break up is never pleasant, no matter what time of the year it is but I’m just saying it’s easier in now. If he left you because its warmer and he want to be with a slimmer woman, we’ll let him be. You are better off. Embrace being you and find a hobby that will cheer you up.
